i’ll probably unfollow you on twitter too
today someone who hasn’t been in my life for over 5 years sent me a text message that read, “why did you unfollow me on twitter? it’s not like you’re anyone special. you’re an asshole you know that!!!” now being the thoughtful and concerned person that i am, i waited a second to craft my response. i wanted to say something that was really heart felt and then it came to me and i wrote, “who is this?”
it got the exact desired reaction i hoped it would :) she was right, i am an asshole, and i’m good at it.
now for the sake of the story, let’s just call this person… um…. let’s call her lauren… because that’s her actual real name. the fact was i really unfollowed her 2 years ago. i unfollowed her on twitter & IN LIFE because well we hadn’t really seen each other or spoke in years. other than the fact she apparently hangs onto my every word on social media, she had seemingly moved on with her life & unfollowed in life me right back. and here’s the thing, neither of our lives really were that affected because we weren’t actually apart of each others lives anymore. but i guess that’s the lie that social media lets us believe. it allows us to feel connected when we’re truly making no effort to really connect with someone.
if i would have had twitter in high school one of two things would have happened. i would have probably been beat up a lot or one of those weird kids in trench coats would have tried to shoot me because their daddy didn’t love them. if twitter existed when i was that young, i probably would have never had the guts to learn to write or express myself without concern for how it would make everyone feel about me. i wouldn’t have learned to be able to communicate effectively or discover who i was as a person, because i’d be so damn worried about offending someone or hurting someone’s feelings or scared that others would judge me. i wouldn’t have been able to find my own voice or become a leader. but because social media wasn’t really a thing for me until i was in my mid 20’s - most people that truly care about what i say on it now, already know i’m a sarcastic, grumpy prick without needing to pick up their phone or tablet to verify that. i’m guessing they either like me or don’t like me because they’ve taken the time to know who i actually am as a person (what a concept, right?). they don’t take everything i say so seriously because most things i say aren’t meant to be taken that seriously. in return i can live with or without their approval. i don’t require the attention because i actually like myself just the way i am. so instead i just use social media as an outlet to talk about things that piss me off, or make me happy or cause me to laugh. and when someone says something i don’t agree with, i’m able to talk to them about it, without immediately assuming they’re an awful person if we don’t agree.
anyway this whole text exchange with lauren really brought up something that i think is important. do we really spend all of our free time worrying and getting anxiety about what other people think of us? is it super important that we are accepted by EVERYONE or that others agree with or like every statement that we comes out of our mouths or fingertips? are we creating a culture of people who are afraid to have opinions that aren’t universally accepted or do these monkeys even know what an opinions is anymore?
everyone today acts like a fragile little child. anything can offend them and everyone expects others to be sympathetic to their situation. do you really need a colbie caillat song to tell you that you’re good enough just the way you are? because even she doesn’t believe that or else she wouldn’t use auto tune in all her songs to make sound better. if you truly need the approval of EVERYONE in order to be happy or live a fulfilled life then i kinda want to be there when life takes a big old crap on your chest one day. because i’m hoping that’ll be the ah-ha moment where you realize that the world doesn’t revolve around your insignificant ass.
so here’s what i think you should do. if you want to follow someone on twitter, do it. if you want to unfollow them, do that too. if you feel like saying something that might upset some people, here’s a microphone you have more platforms than ever to do that. if you want to live alone in a cabin in the woods and talk to no one because you can’t live with the thought of someone not liking you… well we’d probably all prefer you do that anyway. but whatever you do, just live your life the way you want, without concern for what anyone else thinks, because truthfully everyone else doesn’t think about you all the time the way you’re worried they do.
but i really want to apologize to lauren. so lauren if you’re reading this (and i know you are) you’re right you do deserve to know why i unfollowed you (even though it took you 2 years to notice). that week you tweeted numerous times about how you watched a movie that made you think eating animals was obscene & you were becoming a vegan. given that the entire time i knew you, you jumped from trend to trend in order to feel accepted, i just decided to mute you before you jumped on that high horse of yours and started talking about eating only plants for the 2 or 3 weeks you’d do it before i knew you’d cave. when i re-checked your twitter today after you got mad at me, i saw you ate at a steakhouse the other night. and for a moment i thought, “maybe i should just follow her again”. i mean all of a sudden i guess you’re like no longer the fickle, self absorbed, trend of the week, sheepish follower that i thought you were… oh wait. on second though, i’m blocking you. so that hopefully you can get your own life and stop concerning yourself so much with mine. and ps - cheeseburgers are tasty as hell.
We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same. — Carlos Castaneda
We cannot change our past. We can not change the fact that people act in a certain way. We can not change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. — Charles R. Swindoll